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My wife and I recently drove from one sister’s house to another. The route lasted a bit over ten hours through Pennsylvania and West Virginia and into North Carolina. Along the way I was reminded of a few “dad jokes” my Dad used to tell on long drives.

For your reminiscence I offer the following driving tales.

The Legend of Falling Rock

A long time ago an Indian chief (excuse any cultural insensitivities in the story below as these were told to me in the early ‘60’s by a man raised in the early 30’s) had two twin sons. The older was named Running Deer and the younger Falling Rock. The chief knew that one day one of his sons would need to succeed him as chief. Rather than simply give the responsibility to the eldest, Running Deer, he devised a contest to determine which son would make the best chief. Since the job of the chief was to be concerned with the welfare of the tribe, each  son would venture out and gather as much food as they could find. Berries, roots, and animals were all fair game. The son to gather the most food would be named the new chief.

Bright and early they left camp and were told to return the following morning with their collection. The chief worried all night and hoped the contest would be seen by the tribe members as fair.  The next morning one son returned with horses saddled with bags full of seeds, berries, captured animals and more. He exclaimed “I am Running Deer, not only the eldest son but the most skilled”. After hours of waiting, the second son, Falling Rock had yet to arrive. Members of the tribe grew concerned, as did the aging chief. The tribe held fire dances (see cultural apology above) and prayed for the son but he never did return.

So sad were they at the loss of this fine young brave that to this day you can see signs posted along the road “watch for Falling Rock”.  Some tribe members were concerned the younger brother had taken his older brother’s identity. You’ll see evidence of their belief that it was actually Falling Rock that had returned but he falsely claimed to be Running Deer. They promote their belief by posting additional signs which read “watch for Running Deer”.  

The infighting over who was to be chief tore the tribe apart. To this day you can see evidence along the roadway of this ancient battle with signs encouraging the tribe to “merge” and other signs pleading with the other side to “yield”. 

No Littering 

If you’re old enough to remember the anti-littering commercial with the Indian (again, insert proper term here like Native American, Indigenous person, etc ) shedding a single shiny tear when he witnessed the litter strewn along a highway, you might appreciate this “dad tale”. 

A hungry man was driving along the turnpike and stopped for some fast food. Not wanting to stop to eat, he gobbled down the burger and fries while driving only to discover he’d dripped special sauce down the front of his tie.

He knew his wife would chew his ear off for eating while driving so he deftly removed his tie and  crumpled it into the now empty fast food bag. As he drove along, he knew he needed to dispose of the evidence of his indulgence. Mile after mile he saw signs reading “unlawful to litter”. Finally, after several miles he spotted a sign that said “fine for littering” – so he threw the entire bag out the window. 

A big build up for a short payoff but hopefully you can see how this dad joke might make one kid groan and a smarter kid giggle. If they did neither, they probably had a “slow children” sign in front of their house. 

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Writers Block