You’ve heard ‘turn the other cheek’ and all that. So, does a good Christian (as if the term Christian needs a modifier, especially the word “good” since Jesus says “No one is good—except God alone” (Mark 10:18) but I digress. Where was I? Oh yes,) So, does a good Christian forgive those who wrong them? Well, there are apparently several caveats or conditional requirements, that must be met before we forgive someone. Jesus says in Luke 17 “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” The three criterion or prerequisites to forgiving are 1) this rule apparently applies only to interactions with fellow believers, 2), that the person who wronged you (or wrongs God) is to first be rebuked, and finally, 3) if they repent, we are to forgive. So, is it true we are not commanded to forgive everyone?
Conclusion; True, but a few concerns arise. First, how many chances should I give a wrong doer? Jesus answers that immediately stating “Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Here, the asking of forgiveness adds another requirement to the giving of forgiveness. (See 1 John 1:9 about confessing).
Second concern, is this the model that God uses when it comes to forgiving us when we sin? Let’s check the three, no four, requirements, 1) are we believers, 2) are we rebuked, 3) did we repent, and finally 4) did we ask for forgiveness. If all four are not met, does this mean we not forgiven? Thankfully, we can be confident our sins our forgiven by believing, and following Jesus’ commandments (John 14:21). We can count the guilty feeling we (hopefully) feel (only sociopaths don’t feel guilt) as a form of rebuke, or as we endure the earthly consequences of our sin, we must still pray our confession (Matthew 6:9-13) direct to the Father and for good measure perhaps add confession to a trusted believer so as to hold us accountable and finally repent – defined as “a change of mind that results in a change of action.”
All that said, there are several other references to forgiveness from Paul (Eph 4:32) and (Col 3:13) and even a parable from Jesus (Matt 18) about a king who showed forgiveness and his servant did not. To be on the safe side, I’ll continue to forgive without affixing terms, but I will be mindful that God wants me to repent and ask forgiveness. (Matthew 6:9-13)